If you're the real serious type, then you'd better just bypass this page. "There comes a time when you need a helping hand, when the world must come together as one." Sorry...started singing there for a moment...tell ya what if you can tell me the name of that song...I'll make sure you're not actually exposed to my singing abilities. What I meant was there comes a time when people, no matter who you are, you should just relax, take some time out and CHILL!!! All that negative stress just wears people out and make 'em look old. If you don't believe me then take a good look in the mirror. I don't mean to offend, because I'm a firm believer in "Whatsoever you do, it will most certainly come back to you". And to answer your question of "Why is this called the "Fun Stuff"? Well, where else can you go and let off some

STEAM!!!

Here try this one....sent by a friend and had me in tears for 30 minutes...

Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my Community to be a judge at chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're a Wal-Mart manager and therefore known and adored by all.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor Very mild.
JERRY: Yow! What is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from a driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst. These people are crazy.

Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
JERRY: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.

Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO:A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
JERRY: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her "Sally." Probably behind her back they call her "Forklift."

Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO:A hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
JERRY: I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled...it's kinda cute.

Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
JERRY: My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
JERRY: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.

Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned Peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge 3, he appears to be in a bit of distress.
JERRY: You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at the autopsy they'll know what killed me. Go, Sally, save yourself before it's too late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.

Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

JUDGE ONE: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
JUDGE TWO: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JERRY: Mommy? Is that you? What do you mean don't go near the light...

I think I was out of Texas too long!

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Here's another good one you might want to check out....

This is called The Friendship Test (I'm sure you'll be amazed at the revelation)

First things first......

So....don't cheat and don't even think about it. Let nature take its course.

This is a little game that has a pretty funny/creepy outcome. Don't read ahead, just do it in order. It takes about 3 minutes. It's worth it. It's also kinda eerie, but not at the "Poltergiest" level... more like "Beetlejuice".

First, Get a blank piece of paper and pen.

OOH, keep this in mind... When you are asked to choose names, make sure it's people you ACTUALLY KNOW, and go with your first instincts! I said "First Instincts"...not basic instincts.

Now, Scroll down one line at a time - don't read ahead or you'll ruin the fun!!

1.) First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2.) Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write any two numbers you want.

3.) Beside the number 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex. Don't look ahead-or it won't turn out right!

4.) Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th and 6th spots. Don't cheat or you'll be upset that you did.

5.) Write down four song titles in 8, 9, 10 and 11.

6.) Finally, make a wish

And here is the key for that game..

You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2.) The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3.) The person in 7 is the one you like but can not work with.

4.) You care most about the person you put in 4.

5.) The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6.) The person you name in 6 is your lucky star

7.) The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3

8.) The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9.) The tenth space is the song that tells you most about your mind.

10.) And 11 is the song telling how you feel about life!

Alrighty then...that was fun.

Don't blame me for the consequences or the revelations that this brings out.....after all....TLC is inside all of us!!!

And if didn't like that... you could also try the ones below. Hopefully you're in a mood for a laugh. But if you find it "Offensive" my apologies. Drop me a line and let me know:

This is from another site that I found. I didn't want to just copy it and put it here so you can decide if you wanted to laugh or not.
In case you wanted to know what a jackass was.

And lastly here's a site on how to keep an idiot busy:
How to keep an idiot busy

I had a few more, but that should be enough, after all you still have to visit the picture gallery. Have a nice day now!

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